The Best Work is The Best; or, A Horse

Two or three days ago, I began writing a novel. This is completely irrelevant. Today, however, I went searching in the basement, and found something better. An old one. Titled "A Horse", it is the harrowing tale of the mayor's horse. It has drama. Suspense. Mystery. Hard hitting reveals! About half of the book is a section entitled "The Ride of Freedom"; the rest of it is comprised of much smaller segments. These are presented in their original format, without corrections.

As a before the jump teaser, I present the much shorter "the BacKwords BooK":
"zzzzzzz" said I.
Then I Got in my P J's.
"Yum said I, at dinner time.
"School is dull" said I
"zzzzzz" said I.



A Horse
By: (Young Feba)

The Ride of fReedom

Years ago many pe ople liked horseis.

But one night one horse got Kid-napped!

The next moning the mayor woke up to go to the barnand said "Help!, Help,! My Horse has been Kidnapped!!"

Then the baker said to the mill Keepper "The mayor's Horse Has been Kidnapped!!"

The millKeper told the paper boy, Who put it in the newspaper.

The whole city was looking for the horse.

Then The Rider-of-dark came.

Even the Rider-of-dark had done some bad things but the horse He was Riding was not the mayor's.

Then, Out of nowere, came a K-9. "Hey!", said someone, "if you give it something to sniffhe might find who ever didit!"

"Let's try it!!!" shouted everybody.

They got him.

His name was "Jose Bas" then the mayor rode his horse, and that was the "ride of freedom!"

A FlY Intothe SKy

The mayor rode him into the sKy as something magical happed!

The Horse got wings!

As he took-off he shind-in-the-sun.

good Night, sleep Tight

it's Night Now.

They both were in the hay. they both like to lay.

Run Away Horse!

When the horse ranaway it was BI G.

Everyone wanted to find the horse so they could win $350 prize.

One day the horse came back with a rope!

Rope?

"everyone to the horse." said a man.

On the rope was anote, it said..

Dear Mayor,
I found your horse and I want the money!
from,
Rider-of-Dark.

Rider-of-dark

Every-body was thinking the R-o-d took the horse and when he found out about the money he gave it back for the money

$350!

$350 was at risk.

Didthe Rider-of-dark steel or not?

The R.O.D. did steal the horse!

He was Putin Jail.

Jail

In Jail You have to eat soup everyday.

And You stay ina box.

(Portrait of MaGiC the apparently two legged horse. This will be scanned later)

a Name

Once the horse was back every body came up with a name.

the best one was Magic, so that was his name.

-------
As a special bonus, I present the educational work "How To Write A Book"
How To Write A Book

first Brainstorm.

Then,you take a pencil and paper.

When yore book is done, it's a good Job!
___
|T|he best work
|I|s the best
|P|.S. a book that
|S| for Kids shoud not be chapter books
----

>> More

A riddle inside an enigma: The Key to the plot of No More Heroes

This is an explanation of No More Heroes plot. I strongly advise that if you
have NOT already played it, you buy it and play through it immediately.
It is $20 at Amazon.com, and well worth it.

If you have played it, I recommend you play through it at least three times,
(watching cutscenes every time, of course), to make sure that you know what
I am talking about. If your memory is fuzzy, replay it. It is worth it anyway.

No More Heroes, on the surface, has a plot that is completely nonsensical.
It is contained almost entirely within the time before the game even begins,
and the final thirty minutes or so of the game, with practically nothing in
between. I do not believe this is the case. I believe that the events which
transpire between them are not merely cool boss fights to act as filler,
but are clues to the real plot behind it.

Surprisingly, the plot twist at the end is still a plot twist. The story is
still a great one. The boss fights throughout acting as clues, instead of a
grind, has greatly increased by appreciation of the game; and to some extent
I don't really care how correct it is.

My thoughts on this first started with people talking about similarities
between the No More Heroes trailer and the console wars. I kept thinking
about it, but never really went beyond that. And then earlier, while I
was finishing up a game, it all began to hit me, and become clear.

Suda51 apparently said that No More Heroes would deal with "Social Issues".
This is the only interpretation I can imagine that fits. It makes almost
perfect sense, there are hints and clues throughout, and it is relevant to
the player. Let's begin, from the moment the game starts.

「I know a lot of gamers out there don't have much patience.」
They're casuals! In the very first line of the game, No More Heroes
mocks casual gamers, and simultaneously sets up its own plot. This line,
which otherwise seems out of place, is at the heart of the story.

「So I'm at the register, then I realize I got no money.
I was seriously broke. Why? Cuz I met this smokin' hot chick last night
at the Death-Match bar. Man, she smelled good! So being the gentleman I am,
I bought her a drink.」 The casual market. Tempting. Alluring.
Available?

「Anyhoo, I decide to get a job. The gig: assassinate the Drifter.
So I went where I was supposed to and waited for the guy to show up.」
The Wii released just after the PS3 did.

「And there he was. This cat. Well dressed, cool. Couldn't tell if he was
"the shit"...or just plain ol' shit. Yeah, so he's stylin', fast,
aggressive and packin' heat. Bada Bing! Or at least it was supposed to
be... Til she showed up. Her name: Sylvia Christel. An agent with this
whatchamacallit Association.」

The PS3 was supposed to win. It had the big guns. It had the style.
But then the Wii showed up to the fight with a beam saber (Wii Remote), and
chopped it down. And then... the casual market showed up.

「Congratulations. You are certified as the 11th-best hit man. How about
getting rid of the ten killers above you and aim for the top?」

The casual market tempts the Wii. If the Wii can best the status quo
(preexisting games), it will be worthwhile, somehow.


「And for you there holding the Wii Remote　right now...
　Just press the A Button. Let the bloodshed begin！」
　
This is a major clue. Suda51 took the time to link not only in the
normal video game sense the controller to the weapon, but to link it as
part of the plot. The Beam Katana is not just controlled by the Wii remote,
it is a metaphor for it.

And with this, Travis goes flying through the gate of Death Metal's mansion,
landing with a triumphant "FUCKHEAD!". This is a rather literal interpretation
of the Wii's launch. Everything that happened before was out of the player's
control. The PS3's power had been defeated by the Wii remote before the
fight even began, and likewise the Wii had been driven by casual forces
from the start.

「He only looks tough because his mother was an ugly bitch!」

Death Metal is, of course, the 360. The Wii would defeat him right after the
PS3. These two fights are linked together by being before the player ever has
access to the open world. And this line from Sylvia, mixed in among
motivation, is a clear reference to the 360's appearance only seeming good
because it's predecessor (Xbox) was so bad.

Side note; "Trust your Force" could refer to two things. First, the Wii
Remote uses accelerometers to measure motion; it could easily be referring
to the physical forces which make the Wii's winning games possible. Secondly,
and what is the main intention, is an allusion to The Force from Star Wars.
I will explain more about this when we fight Dark Star.

A non-plot related note, he splits himself in three, all of which
attack with an ORANGE Beam Katana. "Orange" is a clear parody of Apple
Computers. The splitting in three is a reference to the 360's three core
processor... which is based on the PowerPC. In the same way his Beam Katana
is an Apple Parody, the 360's CPU (arguably its main weapon against its
competitors) is based in a technology most famously used by Apple.

Death Metal is living a life of luxury. He's old. It's past his time.
He's angry with the newcomer, he sees him as arrogant. The Wii; Nintendo;
Travis; they see their opportunity for glory. They imagine what they can do
when they're on top. And they're willing to follow the Casual Market to do it.

「So what you're tellin' me is that I gotta continue fighting.
There's no way out of this. You set me up, bitch!」
「Quit your bitching and get with the program.
　There's only one road out of here.」

The Wii has, effectively, killed the hardcore gaming platforms. Now any
other competitor could come along for his head. Taking out the assassins
above it -- or in other words, other forms of entertainment;
holds promises of rewards 「do it with me?!」from the casual market.

The casual market later explains that he needs to work to take out his
opponents. He needs to pay! And so Travis begins the first of many jobs.
These are a metaphor for the Wii's market, flooded in crap. Much of it is
barely any fun, and where it is fun (assassination missions), is completely
uninspired. The overworld as whole is also a metaphor for the gamer's life;
doing things you'd rather not do, so you can get what you need, and put
the rest of it towards games (boss fights).

So after the Wii has earned enough money from jobs (console sales from
casual games), he can take down the first boss (game). The PS3-360 order
indicated by the first two assassins Travis takes down. The allusions to
specific elements the Wii takes down become weaker as we near the end,
as the main story to be told is revealed and becomes clearer.


Dr. Peace is Metal Gear Solid. (PS3)

** The character is modeled on Charles Bronson,
an actor. Likewise, Solid Snake was based on the actor Kurt Russel.
** An old man (Old Snake). Addicted to blood (war), good with guns.
** He rants, somewhat nonsensically, about the construct of society.
** His daughter MAY be Z.O.E.; which used MSG2's engine. I also think that
Kojima may reveal that Orbital Frames are descendants of Metal Gears,
but that's a subject for another essay, and I would need to play MGS4.


Shinobu is, interestingly enough, No More Heroes itself, when it was a 360 title.

** A young swordsman. Very Asian in styling, American in personality.
** Shinobu has a dead father, and blames Travis. This is recursive; when
you look at it as a metaphor for No More Heroes, Travis is in effect
blaming HIMSELF for his father's death. Which also fits with the manner
in which he was killed; Jeane used Travis to get to their father.
Travis referring to Shinobu's father as a 'mentor' is also recursive;
Jeane angrily remarks that Travis probably thought their father was
a great man.
** Prone to anger, vulgarity, and killing people when it isn't needed.
** Travis indicates that he knows she isn't fully mature, and that she
could become something more. This is because Shinobu is based on
the ORIGINAL, 360 version of No More Heroes. Before the Wii Remote
(Beam Saber) came along, NMH (Shinobu) was GOING to be on the 360
(Represented by an old sword)
** In the end, Shinobu (NMH) would save Travis (the Wii), when it looked like
the hardcore market (Jeane) was going to kill it.

Destroyman and Holly Summers are, together, Grand Theft Auto.

** The reason they are together is because it is such a large and
crossplatform game.
** While he is in his Postal Worker uniform, Destroyman comments on
'some customers that filed [nonsense] complaints'.
This is a reference to GTA's content, and complaints about it.
** Destroyman is the plot, story, cinematics, style, and so on of GTA.
Over the top, heavily Americanized, and underhanded tactics all the way.
Lots of comedy.
** In her opening remarks, Holly implies that she enjoys Fighting and Killing,
and accepts death. This is a reference to GTA's common mayhem and death.
** ... because Holly summers is the gameplay of GTA. Heavy on weapons,
and weapons of all sorts. And with an incredibly violent ending.

Letz Shake is another look at the battle between the Wii and power...
it even makes direct references to the processors of the other consoles,
as well as accessories which look like some classic gaming bits! The two
consoles must team up to have any choice of destroying the young challenger.

But before we ever get to fight him, he's killed by a strange man! We'll talk
about this later, when the time is right.

Let's take a break to talk about Sylvia. I've already said she's a metaphor
for the casual market. Her temptation in the real world is not intentional,
on the part of casual gamers, but is just as strong. Travis is the Wii's
hardcore existance. Despite the attention Travis gives Sylvia, she's still
not that interested in him, and would rather go out partying and shopping.

With Letz Shake destruction cementing the downfall of Next Gen games, Wii
moves on to the real challenges: non-gaming media. I admit that my guesses
at these are very loose, and they could be interpreted in other ways. However,
I think my guesses are reasonable; and they're largely irrelevant anyway.

Harvey is films and movies. In a theatre, 「drama and passion!」, and the various
dolling up Sylvia talks about; and pure showmanship, doing what seems impossible.
Without his vision, he is completely useless.

Speed Buster is Television. Around before the NES, and destroys it, but
dies itself shortly thereafter. Thunder Ryu being the NES, of course.
It is inflexible. It only goes one way. With a bit of creativity, a flexible
medium has no problem toppling and destroying it.

At this point, Sylvia is starting to realize she's gotten about all she's
going to out of Travis.

Bad Girl is the internet. Not much else to say here.

Now we start to get back to the point. The Rank 1 match! We find out that
Sylvia has been leading us on all this time. She was using us; now that she's
had her fun, she's leaving town. But we've come this far, right? Maybe we
should keep trying...

I'm not sure if Travis' bike being stolen has any significance, but afterwards
things are very important. The biking section represents a long and barren
road that the Wii walked down. Ugly. Repetative. Mediocre controls, and not
very much fun. This is the desert of Casual Games.

The Wii then wanders through the forest. Guided by its old mentor (Thunder
Ryu is the NES, remember?), it eventually makes its way to a gate. The phone
call from Sylvia is very important.

「Travis, can you hear me? It's Sylvia. I never thought you'd make it
this far. But I am sorry... I cannot see you anymore. I want to fly to
your side, right now. I want to be in your arms. I want to be with you.
I want to share my life with you... No matter the cost. Meeting you...
I've felt truly alive for the first time. I mean that. But feelings and
reality are two different things. Life is not that simple, yes? Now be
honest. Did you really think I would let you do me if you hit number
one? You really are an idiot, aren't you, Travis? Come back to reality!
I mean, look at yourself! You are a dopy, otaku assassin. The bottom of
the barrel. No woman would be caught dead with you... Unless she was a
desperate bitch! Where in the world could you find a woman who could
fall in love with someone like you? Well... One is right here. It was
fun, Travis. I love you.」

The casual market can, in fact, learn to love hardcore games on the Wii!

Dark Star, I believe, does not himself represent anything, but rather
functions to serve as a clue to the truth, as he does in the plot interpreted
at face value. He is an obvious parody of Darth Vader; while he does not
explicitly try to take Travis to the Dark Side, it is implied that he would.

And this is the heart of it. The lightsabers aren't coincidental; Travis is
a Jedi. The "Light Side" he is on is hardcore gaming. The "Dark Side" is
casual gamers. This is the "Force" that Sylvia tells Travis to use. Furthermore,
Thunder Ryu is Obi-Wan Kenobi. The mentor; comes back as a spirit guide.
The last clue to this puzzle comes later...

Jeane is hardcore gamers. She and Travis have a mutual father, in the Gamecube,
which Jeane felt abused her (lackluster library), and got her revenge by killing
him (gamecube sales going to crap). Travis loved her before she did this,
and only seeks to kill her out of revenge. As mentioned in Shinobu's section,
Travis apparently thought he was a great man.

Hardcore gamers, of course, beat the crap out of the Wii... but just before
they can kill it, No More Heroes drops! The Wii gets its vengence...

Later on, the Wii is on top. It is comfortable. But another assassin catches
it with its pants down; this might be a reference to an inevitable period
without any good game releases, but it's not very relevant. Henry is
disgusted in Travis-- 「You're a disgrace to yourself, and all those
you've killed」

Henry stops him. After some fighting, we learn that Henry is Travis' twin--
Henry is the casual Wii yin to Travis' hardcore yang! Letz Shake's pure
power was overcome by the blade (Wii Remote) of casuals, before the Wii's
Hardcore potential (Travis) could even try.

We learn that Sylvia has not only married Henry, but they've been married for
years. As much as it shocks us, casual gamers have been around far longer
than the Wii has. They also allude to an affair between Travis and Sylvia,
likely either after the Harvey fight, or after Travis is number one.

The casual/hardcore balance is the same as the lightside/darkside balance.
It is yin and yang. One does not exist without the other. 「All we can do
is keep running」

In the final scene of the game, we see their fight eternally frozen in
a painting: the balance between casual and hardcore brings art. And we see
Sylvia with a young girl named Jeane. It's not clear who her father is;
casual or hardcore gaming, but hardcore gaming has been destroyed and reborn
from the ordeal of the Wii.

No More Heroes plot is not almost completely non-sensical; it is a complex
metaphor about the Wii's life; a love letter to hardcore gamers.
It is about learning to accept casual gaming, even while we fight about
its damage. It is the story of the Wii.

>> More

Installing Ubuntu on Dell Vostro A860

After years, I finally decided on a laptop. A Dell Vostro A860; Cheap, solid, comfortable. It arrived nearly two weeks ahead of the estimate, which was of course good news. I promptly set to installing Ubuntu on it, and the obligatory breaking in and customizing.
The lengthiest, most frustrating part of the entire process was simply waiting for the 8.10 ISO to download and burn. I did hit a few hurdles along the way, however they were all very simple to overcome, and are listed below.

• Intel® Celeron M® M560 (2.13GHz, 1M L2 Cache, 533MHz FSB) -- Works


• 15.6 inch Wide Display HD (1366 x 768 screen resolution) with anti-glare -- Works


• Intel® GM965 Express chipset with ICH8M -- Works


• 1GB,DDR2,800MHZ -- Works


• 120GB SATA Hard Drive (5400RPM) -- Works (BIOS has an option to set it to be quieter, in exchange for being slower. Haven't tested it.)


• Wired: Integrated 10/100 RJ 45 Ethernet network interface -- Works


• WLAN: 802.11b/g Wi-Fi standard -- Works (Does not work out of the box, but is a simple fix. Ubuntu Forums guide solves it. You'll need to 'sudo modprobe ath_pci' at every startup; I put it in rc.local so it is automatic)


• 24X DVD/CD-RW combo drive -- Works

Basic Installation of Ubuntu:

1. Obtain Ubuntu 8.10: Go to Ubuntu.com's Get Ubuntu section. I used the Desktop Edition installer of 8.10, 32-bit.
   
2. Boot from CD drive: By default, the Vostro will boot from the HDD, even with a CD in the drive. Press F2 at boot to open the BIOS, select the boot sequence option, and set the CD drive to boot first
   
3. Install Ubuntu
   
4. Enable wifi: See WLAN notes above.

Unresolved issues

• When changing screen brightness using the function keys, the OSD can steal focus and cause problems. If this happens, it is easy to work around-- just press CTRL+ALT+F1 to switch to a terminal, and CTRL+ALT+F7 to switch back to your desktop and it should be fine.
  
• One of the function keys appears to initiate either suspend or hibernate. On coming back, I had problems similar to the OSD from the brightness applet. I don't use this feature often, so it might be an easy fix. I will probably check it later. Suspend works fine. After hibernating, I was unable to reconnect to a network until rebooting. Again, might be a coincidence, but I don't have a ton of will to test it.
  
• Be careful with the keyboard. Nothing to do with ubuntu, but I accidentally popped off my Pg Dn key, and it took me a good hour to get back on properly.

Overall, the laptop is very friendly towards Ubuntu (and apparently ships with it in some regions), and so far I am very pleased with it. The only element that seems to fit the price tag is a very slight bulge towards the center of the keyboard, and that may even be intentional. The keyboard itself is very comfortable to type on-- and this is coming from someone who is accustomed to The Best Damned Keyboard Ever Made (Logitech had to trademark it as "G15"). For the same price as many netbooks, it provides a screen that feels plenty large (I am also accustomed to a large monitor) despite not being huge, due to it's 16:9 ratio. It never feels cramped, or oversized. The touchpad could stand to be a bit bigger, but I am very much biased against touchpads and think that they are evil, evil things.

Links

• Dell Vostro A860 manufacturer page
  


• 
  
  

>> More

So I went to a rally...

It was a sudden idea. I had seen it on the news, Obama would be in Missouri. I was sitting around, bored, anyway. Would this include Kansas City? Google, "Obama Rally KC". Why, yes it would. And in just a couple hours. Half an hour later, I was downtown.

The directions from google maps were probably technically correct, but when seven streets meet within a block of each other, including three separate ways out of the exit ramp, you're probably going to get lost anyway. After pulling out of a parking garage (don't ask how I wound up there), I wandered out in front of Science City at Union Station. I rounded a corner, and noticed a line of cars heading the other way, into the parking garage. There were attendants standing outside, handing them tickets.

Leaving the parking lot, the reason was obvious. There was a line of people. That's understating it. There was a swarm of people, only resembling a line because they were limited to the sidewalk. Had the roads been closed, I have no doubt that they would've filled the streets from edge to edge.

I found parking at the nearby Crown Center. They were kind enough to provide free parking, although their garage had an overpowering smell of chlorine.


View Larger Map Google maps. The line marks the walk from parking to event.

As I walked back to the line, something reminded me of Disney World. Some smell, some taste, some sound. It was incredibly bright out. The sort of bright where it's so in-your-face that sunglasses don't really help, and all you can really do is try to keep your gaze down.



On the other side of the road were WBC protesters. I had noticed them driving in, but I could get a clearer shot now. I noticed the road I was crossing, Main Street. After a couple weeks of back and forth ranting over "Wall Street Vs. Main Street", I found a venue on Main Street particularly humorous. As I crossed the road, people in front of me heckled the WBC.



The line went up Main street, and looped around the corner. I followed it around, there was a noticable group of people moving against the line, just to get to the end of it. As I rounded the corner, I saw that the line just kept going.



And going.



Yes, that fuzzy thing in the back is the line.

It was somewhat of a sensory overload. Many people were wearing Obama shirts. And not just official ones, but ones that were obviously home made. "MAMA FOR OBAMA!", and all sorts of other groups from gays to firefighters to union workers. Helicopters circling overhead. Kids playing on the hills, while police and Secret Service watched over the crowd and made preparations. I walked away from the line to try to get a drink from a water fountain. It was so dry there was literally sand in it. I would've found it hilarious, had I not been thirsty. There were bikes nearby, carelessly locked to posts with nothing but flimsy chains. People were handing out forms for various ballot initiatives. A girl of around eight was passing out fliers in support of light rail. I noticed that farther up the hill, the carelessly locked bikes had fliers sticking out of their spokes.

I reached the top of the hill. There were merchant stands nearby selling food and drinks. Next to them were people selling home made Obama clothing. The line continued up another hill, and then looped back around. Finally, I was at least at a solid end.



Kids were walking up and down the line selling homemade Obama buttons. Even Disney World didn't have this much marketing about. I noticed a group of college kids unfurling a banner of some kind on the other side of the road. "No hope for change on Capitol Hill!". As soon as I managed to read it, they started chanting, and walked past, handing out fliers for their cause along the way. After quite awhile of waiting, the entire line, on both sides of the road, turned around. People were moving at a consistent pace. The gates had opened. On the left, while I was entering, was the last group of protesters I would see, this time people against abortion.



There were Obama campaign volunteers and various groups (police, firefighters, EMT, etc.) around the entrance. Someone had left clipboards and pens for Kansas and Missouri voter registrations lying in the grass.

I went over to the hill on the left, overlooking the city, and the hill I had just walked up not long ago. It wasn't quite sunset yet, but it wasn't a bad view. I turned around, and went to stand in the crowd.



While I walked to the crowd, the Pledge started. The crowd paused for it, and resumed while the national anthem began. By the time the anthem was over I had worked myself a good way into the crowd. There was much waiting. Some preacher gave a prayer that was far too lengthy. Only about half the crowd bowed their heads, and looking at it closer many if not most of those with their heads bowed had their eyes fixated on LCD screens. The crowd itself, as a group and not the way individuals were, was fairly interesting; people spontaneously parted to make room for lines of people that would occasionally snake through.


Two police officers KC S.W.A.T. Secret Service dudes watching for evildoers with an awesome view chillaxin' watching the crowd

The security presence was noticable. There were police holding back the crowds behind orange net barriers. There were spotters with binoculars (and apparently sniper rifles) on a nearby rooftop, as well as in the office buildings visible from the crowd. After some lengthy messages from local democrats that could've been stated with much more brevity and impact ("Register. Vote. Democrats. Tell a friend!"), Obama himself started speaking, with a fairly standard speech I'd seen before on the news. I couldn't see the stage, or really any of the equipment save for a few lights and speakers, from as far in as I managed to get. The audience would explode into cheers and chants without any apparent prodding.

After awhile, I decided to go sit down. I had been feeling lightheaded and woozy, to the point of nearly falling onto some poor attendees standing near me. After all, I hadn't had anything to eat drink in quite awhile, and I had been standing the entire time, and the walking uphill and sun beating down, and so on. After some time sitting, I got up and tried to work my way into a crowd from an angle that would allow me to see the stage, to no success.

The speech ended, the crowd dispersed. The hill I had come up had been blocked by police. After a bit of hanging around to see what they wanted us to do, they took down the police tape and told us to walk by a nearby hill. It was very steep and unpaved; and frankly I'm surprised that nobody fell. One person falling could've had a domino effect and injured dozens below them. There were no lights on the path at the bottom, save for the lights of some kind of industrial building to the left, and of course the glow of the cell phone mob.

Leaving the path, some vehicles were passing by on the closed off road.. Sirens and flashing lights told of police cars which came speeding by a moment later, followed by some SUVs. The crowd cheered as they passed. I saw what looked like Obama's profile through one of the windows, but between my exhaustion and the speed it went by, I'll never know for sure. On the walk back, I stopped at part of the memorial and took a break. Someone nearby was happily exclaiming into his cellphone that you could 'clearly see him' in the car's window. After letting the crowd thin more, and my body recover somewhat, I walked back to the parking garage, tired.

>> More

Where is the "Massive" in MMORPG?

It might look somewhat small, but the EVE Online Universe contains over 5000 Solar Systems. Most of those systems possess space stations, asteroid belts, and so on. It is huge-- I once planned a trip of about 40 "jumps" (the solar systems are connected by jumpgates) which wound up taking the better part of a Saturday morning.

EVE Online is one of the first shardless MMOs-- definitely the first I am aware of. What this means is, every single player in the game plays on the same server, regardless of location, language, platform, and so on. There is one exception to this, the Chinese server, however I am fairly certain that is due to PRC policies, and not how CCP would wish it.

This is a huge leap forward. MMOs most of us know are all split into separate servers, or 'Worlds'. What this means is that everyone playing the game is in a closed off system from many many other players. If you see someone else on a general forum for the game, there's a good chance that you can't meet them in game. More importantly, though, having multiple worlds makes it nearly impossible to truly have a story in an MMO.

How can I say that? MMOs have a story! But, the thing is, they're offline stories. They're no different from the RPGs we've been playing for decades. They are not games where you role play, online, with many other players. You storm the castle, beat up the Big Boss, and rescue the princess. There is no continuing storyline, no living world. No way that your actions as a player can make a difference. Sure, you and your nation/guild could capture that bit of land, and have that part of the map covered with your color for the week, but that's not going to change anything.

This is where EVE online is different. The storyline matches the world-- it is massive, it involves everyone, and it is dynamic. In one storyline I remember, a news account was posted of a riot on some mining colony. Not too long afterwards, another news account came of one nation sending an aid convoy to help. The only problem was, the colony wasn't in their space. These ships actually showed up in the game, and were destroyed by RPers who didn't think it was right of that nation to intrude. This changed the storyline to go with that. Of course, the potential for the NPC convoy to be destroyed was almost certainly anticipated, however that does not change the fact that players were able to impact the storyline. There were numerous other incidents I can remember of some news item happening, and players that just happened to be around getting in on the action.

There's just one problem. EVE isn't really all that much fun.

So why haven't other MMOs tried this? EVE online has one huge advantage: Space. Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you might think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space. If EVE online runs out of space, they can add more. It's little hassle-- rig up a few space stations, some asteroid belts, connect it to some of the more popular areas, and there, people now have more space to spread themselves through.

That's not so easy in a fantasy world. EVE online has very little non-random level design, a land game that was generated randomly would likely end up either very boring, very hard to navigate, very glitchy, or some combination of the three. You could start by randomly generating them, and then give them a bit of human TLC, but that would still take a huge amount of work to make something this plain big function.

A randomly generated planet would make for an amazing game world. The problem would then be to populate it. Which is where I go back to EVE's storyline-- I believe I mentioned something about players being able to colonize space. In EVE, in low security regions, players are free to set up POS-- player owned stations-- around moons. These can be armed, equipped, and so forth. They can also be destroyed by rivals, although not without one hell of a fight. One must wonder if giving players even more freedom in where and what to build would cause them to spontaneously produce virtual cities-- especially if the game is started with none or extremely few at all. People would need transportation, equipment, and item goods, and the size and importance of cities could depend on that. Trade routes (run by players, of course) would depend on where cities sprung up.

There are so many possibilities and options to make a truly massively multiplayer online world. EVE and Second Life have gotten close, but how long will it take before someone pulls it off? Darkfall looks interesting, but it also looks like vaporware, and seems to have a very definite limit to the amount of people that can be on a single world (thus, ruining the illusion.) CCP is working on a new MMO, although I (and everyone else) know practically nothing about it. All I hope is that someone does, and soon.

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The next generation of portables

I've discussed how portable gaming could be changed radically by turning a major console (PS3) into something as portable as a laptop. Oh, and I mean, Ben Heck made it, but I think that was an inevitability. This is where I see Sony being able to rule in portables; not in traditional handhelds like the PSP. However, there's plenty of room for actual portables, mass produced, to do something amazing too. My ideas are out there, admittedly, but where's the fun in being normal?

Nintendo's DS is getting old enough to be replaced, or at least to release another new model (Think GBA -> SP -> Micro), or possibly both. I think a lot of people are itching to get back to a more traditional Gameboy, and there's also a lot of people who like the more laid back attitude most DS games have. I actually wouldn't be surprised to see the lines split.

The first idea would simply be Game Boy V. This is what I see as being most likely. It would basically the same as a GBA, although of course more powerful. It would probably be made as a PSP killer, destroying the few strengths it has (raw power).

That's boring though. What could be done that would be fresh?



That's right. A portable gamecube. It's not really unpossible, the gamecube is old enough. Of course, there are numerous problems with the above shot-- such as the controller parts going right into the disk, and the controller being square and uncomfortable to use. So what could be done?

Think wavebird. A wireless gamecube controller. A fairly hefty center, but still light enough that it's comfortable to use. Fits well in the hands. Could easily be made to fit in a pocket as well as any other handheld, while still containing all the computing power you need. The screen would be made to slide out the back of the controller, so it can be fairly large and not get in the way. The disk could be inserted on the bottom, a simple flip up disk cover would do. Technically speaking, it's not too amazing or interesting.

However, there is plenty of possibility. It could be done in new colors, to fit better with the Wii. It could be made Bluetooth; and Nintendo could update Wii firmware; to allow it to be used to play Gamecube games on the Wii. And that's really where I see the biggest potential on this, it would bridge the gap between handheld and TV playing in the biggest way since Super Game Boy. (yes, I know there was the Game Boy Player for the Gamecube, but it wasn't the same)

Imagine-- you're going home, have nothing to do, and pull out your gamecube portable. You play a game you didn't think to get the first time around, and are enjoying it. You walk in the door, save your game, pop out the disk, and slide it into your Wii. The controller syncs with the Wii, and the Wii turns the PGC into a Wavebird. It reads from a bit of flash memory on the card, and recognizes it as a memory card (alternatively, they could just add a memory card port on the end of the controller, it's small enough). You've just gone, relatively seamlessly, from playing on a a portable console, to a home console experience. It could also be made to transfer sound and video to a receiver you'd plug in to the TV, which would also be useful for the next thing--

You go to a friend's house. They have some multiplayer game. You decide to play together. Your PGCs sync. His transmits video and sound to yours, yours transmits button presses back. Or, with an added wifi component made to function as a Gamecube network adapter, you pop in separate copies of PSO and play people over the internets. The possibilities for a Portable Gamecube go on and on.



Of course, there's more to portable entertainment than 'mainstream' video games (your Zeldas and Marios). There's also the edutainment and light games categories-- the Brain Age and MyCoachGames, for one, and also the games that are more like stories, like Ace Attorney (Gyakuten Saiban, Phoenix Wright, whatever you want to call it).

The first thing the DS2 needs is to be cheap. Honestly, a DS Lite falling in price as it gets older is pretty much perfect. Heck, for as much power as these games use, they could even make it less powerful than the original DS, as odd as that may seem.

Secondly, a DS focused at casual gamers, instead of trying to make everyone happy, should use the book format. The vertical screens configuration works well for games that use the buttons, but can be uncomfortable to hold when you're using the stylus. The horizontal style is more natural for most people, and resembles a book rather than a laptop. And let's face it, for most 'traditional' games (such as Sonic), split screens can be annoying or confusing (Does the bottom of one screen go directly to the next, and make it hard to look at? Or does it compensate for the white space on the DS, and add a blind spot?)

Third, no buttons. The D-Pad will put a lot of people off, who just think for whatever reason they can't play games. Make all of the controls touch based. Also, take advantage of this to make the screens larger and easier to read, without sacrificing the small size of the DS Lite (heck, you could even make it smaller than the DS lite, PDA or smartphone sized, and it would still have larger screens than it does now). Make games (again, not traditional games; ebooks, visual novels, and quick little Brain Age/Tetris type games) automatically save, and simply have opening and closing the DS be the power. The only hardware control they should need to be is a volume wheel, and even that could be put on the software.



So those are both a little out there. The PGC would be a little bit much, and a DS that pretty much ignores the gamer market (except for the parts that overlap with other users)? But no. That's tame. Let me introduce the proof that I am insane: Virtual Boy 2. Yes. I know.

First of all, the possibilities for 3D LCD goggles have greatly improved in the past decade. They can be made TV quality, and to look huge, be far more comfortable to look at, and so on. The above example isn't representative of how cheap and compact I have seen these, however cost is pretty much irrelevant, as this would be too hideously expensive to ever be popular no matter what you do. Imagine a PS2 quality game. Now imagine that in *real 3D*.

The goggles would be two seperate things (think swimming goggles, but comfy), connected by a bit of the headband that connects the entire console. On the sides would be two large headphone cups; with directional speakers, to make the 3D experience truly immersing. On the back of the band would be the 'brain' of the console, the processor and where you put the game disk and so on. The goggles would be stored inside the headphone cups to protect the screens, and the brain would snap on to the back, so the entire thing could be stored in about the space of a softball.



But no. That's not out there enough. I mean, so you can create very realistic environments, that's nice, but it's only really good for new types of movies, without a way to control it. Now, it would be easy enough to just attach a gamepad to it, be it wired or wireless. But that ruins the ability to fold it up, and seems cheap. You could put buttons on the headphone cups, but then you have people holding their arms up to their ears the entire time they play a game, which would get uncomfortable quickly.

So what do you do? Easy! It's already sitting all around your head. Just control it with brainwaves. Controllers for PC that replace keyboards have already started to hit the market. Just apply it to this. Sure, brain controls might still be very new, but the same could be said of motion controls, and look at how expertly Wii Sports pulls them off.

This would easily be the most incredible virtual reality system created so far-- and it's all things that are already on the market. Hell, I could totally see a university student or someone with too much time on their hands making a system like this with off the shelf parts; although obviously not portable. 3D LCD goggles, 3D headphones, and brain controllers are all on the market; the biggest challenge would be finding someone with a head large enough to keep all that stuff on (I volunteer. I like VR, and my head is epic.). Then you just hook it all up to a computer, set it up, and maybe do a bit of programming to make a game's 3D effects better, and you basically have a demo for what it would be like. I mean, hell, I'd pay $5 to try VR Quake for ten minutes.

That's about the ultimate in portable gaming, and gaming in general, the way I see it. All that can really be done to improve on it would be to make it more powerful, and brain controls more accurate-- at least, until we start talking about beaming sensory experiences right into the brain. And that's just silly.

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The case for the PS3 laptop

So far, video game portables have been left to the domain of systems that act like they're at least a generation old, or people who have the knowledge to make their own. However, this generation, there is a small glint of promise. The PS3 holds the most potential for changing this, for three reasons. First, Sony has experience making laptop computers, and shoving hardware into very tiny packages. Microsoft and Nintendo cannot claim that. Second, the PS3 already has Linux distros working to support it, and is very easy to install a distro onto; the 360 and Wii do not have anything near a complete OS. Third, the PS3 could stand to sacrifice some of it's manufacturing due to a lack of interest, while the 360 still has huge problems with RROD and the Wii can't even keep up to basic demand.

The first thing to consider with such an idea is whether or not it's feasible. While it might seem like these sorts of projects are prohibitively expensive, that is when they are done by butchering one that already exists. On the manufacturing side, the additional material costs would be minimal-- Ben Heck says the cost of the screen for a laptop sized portable is around $250. Plus the additional electronics and batteries required, things such as a keyboard and pad mouse, it would likely come out to around $300 in additional parts. This is of course a very rough estimate, Sony would have much cheaper parts available to them if they buy in bulk. This also does not take into consideration the cost it would take to convert the manufacturing facilities of either their PS3s or laptops to making a new product. I cannot even pretend to have knowledge of that, however I believe that if Sony manufactured such a product, they'd have no problem selling them in the $750 to $800 range.

The trick then is to sell it as a combination of a PS3 and a laptop, which is where the ease of Linux installation comes in. Simply show off some running Ubuntu, or a similar distro, convince people that not only is the laptop a good price just for the computer, but they're also getting access to a great entertainment system along with it. This has the side benefit of people potentially not buying laptops that come with Windows Vista preinstalled, supporting Microsoft's gaming branches.

Sony also traditionally remakes their consoles in a smaller form factor-- and some company makes a snap on attachment for it that has a screen and battery built in. It's happened on PSOne, Slim PS2, it will happen on PS3 as well. So why not do them one better, Sony? While you're making it officially, you can also add software support to make it work even better, and hardware such as docks so that people don't have to worry about plugging and unplugging wires every time they hook their PS3 up to their TV.

So Sony, you could do it better than anyone else. You could capture a lot of people who might otherwise have bought a 360 for the same games. You might even draw in people that never considered buying a gaming console, but got it instead of a laptop. Even if it fails horribly, it will get people interested in buying the PS3 again. I, for one, would not consider buying a PS3 until it falls in price significantly enough that it's a small deal to pick one up; although I'd buy a PS3 laptop for hundreds more than the PS3 sells for now with little thought.

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